Top 5 Ways To Get The Most Out Of Therapy

There are two things most of us are short on: Time and Money. Since therapy involves quite an investment of both time and money, it’s important to consider how to make the most of each session. Here are my top 5 ways to get the most out of your therapy experience.

1. Attend therapy consistently.

Couples and individuals who make efforts to come regularly to sessions are able to build momentum and show better improvement in shorter time. This is particularly true with emotionally-focused couples therapy, where most of the work is experienced together in session. I usually recommend coming once a week, but every other week can also be a good rhythm. I always recommend that if you have to miss an appointment, ask to reschedule rather than skipping it altogether. 

2. Do your part.

Many times, couples fall into patterns where each partner blames the other for their conflicts and frustrations. Sometimes it is hard to see your own part in a conflict, especially if you’ve worked hard to resolve or prevent these situations from arising. However, relationships are dynamic and each partner somehow plays a role in conflict patterns. In therapy, we will work on discovering your role in these patterns, and it helps to come to sessions with an open mind to considering these dynamics. Therapy will move faster and be more successful if you’re able to self-reflect and practice humility and compassion for yourself and your partner.

3. Learn and use the language of attachment.

“Attachment” is another way to describe the emotional bond that exists between you and your partner. The foundation of every relationship is emotional connection and safety, and this is the mindset we will be embracing when we work together in session. An attachment mindset will help therapy sessions feel collaborative, and will help you make progress together. Consider using language that reminds you of this mindset: “Feeling connected/close”, “Feeling disconnected/distant”, “We are stuck in our conflict cycle/pattern”, “I’m feeling vulnerable”, “You mean a lot to me”.

4. Reflect on what you learn in sessions.

Though we will do most of the experiential work in session together, it is also valuable to invest additional time outside of session, in ways that you enjoy.

• Read well-known books to learn more about attachment and relationships.
• Try to notice your emotions about your relationship during the week, especially in times of tension, and bring your observations up during the next session.
• Watch movies and reflect on the relationship dynamics that you notice.
• Talk about (or journal) your sessions together: What were your thoughts and feelings about the session? What was something new or positive you experienced in session?

5. Playfully practice new ways of relating to each other. 

Try to create opportunities for positive emotional experiences together on a daily basis. Tell your partner when you are feeling disconnected, or vulnerable, or anxious, in a way that is more clear or direct than you have been in the past. Consider your deeper emotions and reach out to your partner about those. Tell your partner when you are feeling more connected and talk about your fondness and longing for each other.

Ready to get started? Contact Sharon to schedule a meet and greet!